Am I Blue?
by Tempest2004
Summary: Songfic. House's thoughts after asking Stacy to leave. Set to George Straits 'Am I Blue'. My first House fic. Please R&R!


This is my first House fic. I haven't seen all the epsiodes since I came in at the episodes 'Euphoria', but its one of my favorite shows and George Strait is one of my favorite singers. If I got any of the House information wrong or the place of 'Am I blue?' wrong on the CD's, please let me know. Other than that, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. And Am I Blue? is owned and sung by George Strait.

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House sat back in his apartment, listening to some CD that had been a gift from Wilson for his birthday, not that he had advertised the event, but Wilson was a friend and as such, was privy to such information.

"Here, I think you'll like this one, House. I know it's an artist you don't know, but I think you might be surprised for once. Well, I'm off." he had said and walked out of House's office. A slow melody came from the Stereo as a new song started. Third song, second disc of George Straits 50 number ones. 'Am I Blue'.

_Am I blue, yes I'm blue. _

_It started the day I lost you. _

_Nobody ever missed somebody like I do._

House blinked. It somehow fit his mood right now. It hadn't been that long ago that he had told Stacy to leave and he was feeling guilty about it. Why? She was married and that night in Boston hadn't helped at all. He still had feelings for her, always would, but that didn't change the fact that Gregory House would not have an affair with a married woman. He wasn't that kind of guy. If he wanted a girlfriend or wife, he would find someone who he could love and trust. Not someone who would betray his trust because they thought they knew better. _Like Cameron_, his mind prompted annoyingly.

_Am I blue, am I blue. _

_Just this morning over coffee_

_I set to crying 'cause you're gone, long gone._

_I didn't know just how much I was gonna miss you, _

_Till I spent my first night alone. _

_Am I blue, yes I'm blue. _

Maybe she had been right. Maybe it wasn't because he didn't want to love her, it was because he couldn't. Not while he was still so in love with Stacy. Damn her for being so right. It was more annoying than he was and that was saying something. How she could get under his skin was just something else he would never understand about women.

_How could I have been such a fool? _

_Now look at all the misery I'm going through. _

He was far more miserable when he had woken up to find that she had ordered most of his thigh muscle removed when he wouldn't do it himself. Thats when the pain had started and not just the pain of betrayal. How could she have done it? She had done exactly what he had asked her not to do! She had ordered the operation that had turned him into the bitter, selfish, grouchy old man that he was today. Not that it was much different than the way he was before the infarction, but it was certainly worse.

_Am I blue, am I blue. _

_Tried to call and say I'm sorry - _

_I couldn't get you on the line. _

_You'll never know just how much I'm wishing _

_You would show up and say you've changed your mind._

Had she tried to call? To get him to change his mind? No, no she wouldn't. That much House knew like he knew how to breathe. Stacy was too proud to beg, she would never go that low. Not even for him, not for any man. Not even Mark. It didn't make sense. He could have loved her, could have given everything they both had wanted. But what House had said was true, they would have ended up back in the same situation, better to end it before it truly started.

_Am I blue, yes I'm blue. _

_It started the day I lost you. _

_Nobody ever missed somebody like I do. _

_Am I blue, am I blue. _

It did start the day he lost Stacy and it wouldn't stop hurting for a very long time. But Gregory House would stand the pain, limp through it and eventually wipe it from his memory, like he always did. Gregory House wasn't a quitter, rather, he was stopper. He stopped things that would eventually lead to more pain in the long run that it would be to stop before it started...

And yes, he is blue.

Fin

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Please R&R!


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